


A Vacation with Missy

by merryghoul



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explosions, Explosives, F/M, Handcuffs, Minor Character Death, Restraints, Shipwrecks, Trapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missy lures the Doctor to a planet she's destroying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vacation with Missy

**Author's Note:**

> For the February Amnesty Challenge at [](http://hc-bingo.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://hc-bingo.dreamwidth.org/)**hc_bingo**. Prompts: wild card (restrained), trapped together, shipwrecked, planet destruction

The Doctor found it odd that the TARDIS was voluntarily going to a leisure planet. Most of the time the TARDIS took the Doctor where he needed to go. That tended to exclude leisure planets. The Doctor was pleased he was finally going to get to be able to vacation on Occhinos. He had tried to vacation there before with K9 Mark II, but the White Guardian sent them on a search for the Key to Time with Romana. Finally he was going to the leisure planet with many suns. 

The Doctor started pressing buttons on the TARDIS console. They didn't respond to his touch. That was when he realized the TARDIS wasn't going to Occhinos by choice. She was being forced to go to the planet by someone or something. 

When he saw Missy appear on the TARDIS monitor, he ran under the console and pulled the lever that put the TARDIS into siege mode. 

Missy started singing the opening to "Mickey" in a high-pitched voice, substituting "Mickey" with "Missy." When the Doctor ran back up to the TARDIS console, he saw Missy throwing a puppet that looked like him behind her back. _"Hello. I'm Missy. You must be the people of Occhinos. Oh, that piece of wood I just threw on the floor? That was a puppet version of my friend the Doctor. When he changed his accent, I changed mine so it sounded just like his. That's how much I love him. And that's how much he loves me. I can't wait until he comes here to visit my friends and me."_

The Doctor was stunned. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

_"I found a group of lonely Quarks looking for a friend."_ Missy shrugged. _"Actually, they ran into me and I forced them to submit to my will. Same thing. I'm turning this planet into a keepsake, so my boys and I are drilling out all the nasty parts before we make this baby compact. Meanwhile, my friend the Doctor and I will live happily forever after on some other planet."_ She grinned. _"Don't worry--my boys and I are in this secret shelter on this planet where none of you will be able to find me while you're all dying."_ She shivered and licked her lips. _"Can't wait to have your yummy corpses when you're all dead!"_

The monitor clicked off. The Doctor prepared for impact to wherever Missy was taking him on Occhinos. 

 

The TARDIS, still in siege mode, crashed on top of Missy's secret shelter on Occhinos. A Quark picked up the TARDIS and took it inside the shelter. It walked over to Missy, who was standing in a corner of the shelter. 

Missy put the TARDIS on the shelter floor. She knocked on the top of the TARDIS. "Open up, Doctor. You're here." 

When the Doctor was sure the TARDIS wasn't being tossed around by Missy and her Quarks, he went back under the console and deactivated siege mode. After the TARDIS went back into its police box state, the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS. The TARDIS materialised away. 

"Figured that old antique would flee at the site of little old me," Missy said. "You know that thing isn't too far away from us." 

"She's far away from you for the moment. And I've programmed her so she's always one step ahead of you, no matter where you go." 

Missy blew a raspberry. "Give me a kiss." 

"Missy--" 

Missy pinned the Doctor against a nearby wall in the shelter. She hugged the Doctor and gave him a kiss on his lips. "I missed you so much." 

The Doctor pulled his head away from Missy. "I couldn't say the same about you." 

"Why? I'm giving you a whole leisure planet." 

"After you've killed everyone on it." 

Missy cocked her head and laughed. "So we can be alone, silly." 

"I never wanted to come here, Missy." 

"That's 'cos you're stubborn. You wouldn't have come if I didn't make you come." 

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "What am I going to do with a shrunken planet?" 

Missy laughed. "What are _we_ going to do with a shrunken planet? Collect them. We're collecting all the planets that ever existed. I'm saving Earth for last. I want to make you shiver in anticipation." 

The Doctor escaped Missy pinning him against the TARDIS. He backed away from her. "You know I've fought something like this before, Missy." 

"I know. But he was a pirate. Pirates aren't the smartest creatures in the universe." 

"Why are you doing this?" 

"So you can get closer to your best friend, of course. For the rest of our lives. We're going to live in this flying shelter forever. You, me, maybe that antique you call a TARDIS, and my boys."

"The TARDIS would rather fly into the sun than to stay with you."

Missy laughed. "Fine. That's your TARDIS' funeral. As for us, what's wrong with getting all nice and domestic? We can continue to attempt to kill each other for the rest of our lives. Isn't that romantic?" 

The Doctor tried to run to a door in the bunker. He was stopped by two Quarks. 

"You can't escape, Doctor. My boys are watching over every door in the bunker. They're keeping an eye on my machine, too. Now relax, Doctor. There's nothing you can do. I've won." 

 

The Doctor didn't have a lot of time before Occhinos was to be completely mined and turned into a miniature. But he had to wait until he sensed Missy was distracted. When she randomly started singing the theme to _Bertha,_ that was when the Doctor knew it was time to get started on his plan. 

"Missy, remember when you'd promise me you'd show me the coordinates to Gallifrey and I said I'd only take you in irons?" 

Missy stopped singing. "How could I forget anything that my boyfriend says?" 

"Do you still want them?" 

"The Time Lords? Who wants them? They're bastards." 

"No, Missy, the irons. Do you still want the irons?" 

"I didn't think you were kinky, Doctor. But you don't have any irons on you, do you?" 

The Doctor pulled out a pair of leg irons from his right jacket pocket. Missy spread her legs while he cuffed her ankles. 

"And do you like handcuffs?" the Doctor asked. "I think you'd like handcuffs." 

Missy stretched out her arms. "Lay 'em on me." 

The Doctor pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his jacket pocked and cuffed Missy. The Quarks, suspicious of the Doctor cuffing Missy, rushed to Missy's side. "Do not move," the Quarks said in unison. 

"No, no, it's alright," Missy said to the Quarks. "The Doctor is the only man I'll allow to cuff me." 

The Doctor reached into his pockets before hugging all of the Quarks around him. The Quarks were confused by the Doctor hugging them, but they resumed their positions after the Doctor stopped hugging them. The Doctor then picked up Missy and carried her over her shoulder as the confused Quarks resumed their positions in the shelter. 

"Are you carrying me over the threshold? I always wanted to be a blushing bride." 

"Actually, I'm making sure you don't die." 

"You know I'll come back, dear." 

"I know that. I don't want you to die right now." 

After the Quarks resumed their positions, they blew up. The Quarks near the door of the room blew up the entrance to the room. 

Missy howled as the Doctor put her on the ground again. "My boys! What did you do to them?" 

"Little tubes of boronite. Have you heard of it? It's nine times more powerful than dynamite. I learned about it while I was in hiding. And guess what? I have even more boronite to share in my pockets. You're not getting any, but your machine's getting some." 

The Doctor ran out of the room. Missy tried to follow him, but the irons limited her mobility. She fell on her face. 

Meanwhile, the Doctor reversed Missy's machine. The minerals Missy were taking out of the planet went back into it. When the machine was done reversing itself, the Doctor put the boronite onto the machine and blew it up, hiding in a hallway as the machine exploded. 

With the machine demolished and Missy's shelter crumbling, the TARDIS reappeared to take the Doctor out of the shelter. Their next stop was to an Occhinos television station, to let the people of Occhinos know Missy's plans were once again foiled. 

 

Some of the police force of Occhinos looked for Missy after her shelter blew up. They couldn't find any survivors except for one Quark that slowly moved towards a couple of officers. 

"Do not move. Do not move," the Quark said. 

The officers froze. 

The Quark's right hand fell to the ground. In its place was a hand holding some sort of device. The hand zapped one of the officers with the device, killing him.. The Quark lost its other metal hand; with its free hand, the Quark removed its head. The Quark was Missy. "Hid out in a tin can while my shelter was blown up," she said, aiming her device at the other officer. "But I'm still alive. Now what does a girl have to do to get some transportation off of this bright, sunny planet before I kill you? I'm looking for my boyfriend."


End file.
